“Why is my baby waking up at 3 AM!?” (And more importantly, “How do I fix it!?”)

This is one of the most common questions parents have…doesn’t it just make sense to sleep through the night, especially when you are a busy little person exploring and learning so many new things every day!? Unfortunately, that’s not the case!

Sometimes it’s a guessing game…is it a developmental milestone? Teething? Some sort of regression? Are they hungry? Are they too hot? Too cold? Did they sleep too much during the day?

It could be any of these, or even a combination of a few of them. You’ve probably already realized that sleep, especially a baby’s sleep, is complicated. Children’s brains and bodies are rapidly changing and by the time you have one issue figured out, something else pops up in its place.

Some are easy fixes:  a teething baby can be given some Tylenol, you can put a fan in their room if they are too hot or put warmer jammies on if they are cold. Other issues are not so easy to fix and don’t have obvious solutions, which is why so many parents have a hard time with their child’s sleep. While there could be several different reasons your child is waking through the night, today I’m going to focus on one: day-time sleep.

Imagine this scenario: an 18-month old gets lots of fresh air and sunlight during the day and goes down easily for a long nap but then when bedtime rolls around, they are full of energy and not at all interested in going to sleep, which then makes bedtime a big struggle. Once they finally do get to sleep, they wake up several times throughout the night and then at 5:30 for the day (and let’s be serious, it won’t be a fun day for anyone).

The logical answer is that this babe is getting too much sleep during the day but it’s actually almost always the opposite. Sounds counter-intuitive right? Let me give you some information because I didn’t believe it at first either.

About 3 hours before we are ready to wake for the day, our bodies begin to secrete the hormone cortisol. Cortisol gets a bad rap because it’s best known for helping fuel your body’s “fight-flight-freeze” response (think back to the cave-man days when we had to run from sabre-tooth tigers) but it’s also crucial for regulating our sleep/wake cycle and trying to get us started in the morning. Think of it as a cup of coffee.

So, if cortisol is your morning cup of coffee, melatonin is your night time cup of sleepy tea. About 2 hours before we are ready to go to bed, our bodies start secreting melatonin which is the good sleepy hormone that helps us go to sleep and stay asleep all night. Then the process starts all over again with cortisol production in the wee hours of the morning. Also important to note: melatonin production is increased when we are exposed to bright sunlight throughout the day.

As amazing as this whole process is, it can be very easily confused. So, with the example from above, this baby’s body is getting confused. The baby is getting exposed to sunlight throughout the day which is awesome because their body is ready to produce lots of melatonin in the evening. They are also having a great nap (and only being 18 months old, they are still quite young to eliminate naps altogether). So, what’s that burst of energy right before bedtime all about?

Remember here when I talked about the “second wind” and it being a real thing? Well, here’s some of the science behind it.  Once a child’s body begins to produce melatonin, there’s a narrow window of time when the body expects to be going to sleep. However, what happens when they don’t get to bed in that window is that the brain instinctively thinks something is wrong and that there is a reason the baby can’t sleep (maybe there’s a sabre-tooth tiger around) and gives the body a shot of cortisol, which should help protect baby (remember fight-flight-freeze?). So, now that the baby’s body has given them a shot of cortisol they are full of energy and not at all sleepy. This baby missed their window and is going to be even more difficult to get to sleep.

Are you still with me? What does this have to do with those middle-of-the-night wake ups? I’m glad you asked.

Assuming the baby’s circadian rhythm is expecting a 6 AM wake up, their body begins secreting cortisol around 3 AM and by this time melatonin production has stopped for the night. So baby hits the end of a sleep cycle around 3 AM, which brings them to the surface of awake, and now there’s a stimulant (cortisol) but no sedative (melatonin). This fact, coupled with limited independent sleep skills, means that baby is likely going to wake completely and have a difficult time getting back to sleep (especially without intervention from mom or dad).

Okay so now you know the science behind it and you’re asking “what do I do about it?”

There’s no easy fix for adjusting baby’s hormone production but there are things you can do to help. Getting your child outside during the day will really help, since sunlight is like a cheerleader for melatonin production at night. It’s also really helpful (as I discussed here) to have the baby’s room pitch black at all times – it should be as dark at 11 AM as it is at 11 PM. I also like to suggest that people begin turning the lights down around the house early in the evening, which can simulate the sun set (which helps with melatonin production). Another important factor in this is to not allow screen time at least an hour before bed. The blue lights from any screen stimulate cortisol levels, which is the opposite of what we want right before bed! The most important factor in helping your baby to sleep through the night (i.e not call out to you during the night) is to implement predictable routines, a consistent sleep schedule, and to teach them independent sleep skills.

Remember in the same blog post linked above when I mentioned that we all wake several times during the night? We aren’t going to prevent those wakes but what we can do is teach your child that, when they wake, they are safe, still tired, and capable of independently falling back asleep.

If you feel like you need help with teaching independent sleep skills then go ahead and contact me! We can schedule a time to talk about the issues you’re having and if I can help you and your kiddo get the sleep you need and deserve!

Giving your children the gift of sleep is one of the best things you can do for them.

Until next time,  

Kirsten